You poor beautiful unselfish human being. I could envision that. He couldn’t help himself. He was like a kid in a candy store and men are selfish babies. I remember exes sleeping, though we never had babies. You are so incredibly sexy. We men were in love. We can’t believe we could attract such beauty and intelligence. “Look, at that beauty sleeping and she married me! And had my children! Me, the lowly human, and she, the goddess.” Yes, he should have had the balls and brain to insulate you for as long as you needed. Paid for long vacations alone, so you could recover. My mother too gave everything to her children and then starved herself at the end and died choking on her own fluids from pneumonia. I tried to give her wine and the things she loved or might have loved not knowing it was adding to her unbelievable pain. (Luckily, she refused them.) I came late to the nursing home the last day and she waited for me. I took my time because I knew it might be her last day. My sister was there earlier. I told her I loved her. I was sad that I could never keep her at home, where she could be quiet and not be bothered. She was a night owl. I couldn’t lift her. She had fallen in the bathtub twice and passed out each time or could started fires or left and walked off. She had Alzheimer’s. You were the very reason your husband lived. He wanted every second of your time because you are and will always amaze him. I know what happened. I apologize to you for him. I am jealous of the time he had. I wish I could have given my mother what she needed. My job exhausted me. She once asked me to help her with a business that would have taken all my time and it didn’t make sense. I shunned it and I think it broke her in the end. She showed signs in her hoarding. But, I didn’t know the answer. I still don’t. I work a job that overwhelms me. I don’t have enough money to retire. I see the same demise. How do we kill ourselves without the pain my mother must have endured? Selfishness is inherent in the small minds that try to negotiate life or who bring people in it. I ache for you. I feel your pain. I hear you. I wish I could have told your ex what he was doing. Are the kids finally old enough? Did you find time? Did you get a better job? Are you happy? This is why I am single. I am not woman enough to raise a family. You are a Goddess, who needed a God. Thank you for this story and lesson.