Women should never feel like it is their fault. It is about respect and self-discipline. Sure, a man can inquire as to mutual attraction and desire and even consider what is best for the woman, in the sense of a man knowing that he would be a good person for her? Can he maintain a relationship, afford children, take care of her? And, I think we all know what our motivations are. Good men understand what they want and they don't sacrifice another person to satisfy that want. They take responsibility for themselves in the context of another person, who may not even know what she wants. He should be concerned with what is good for her.