This is your key sentence: The “good traits,” rather than the bad are what one should look for. Of the woman I loved, her head was small like my mother’s and her hair was thin, and she smelled like my mother. But, my attraction was so strong for her, that I was always jealous and questioned how someone so beautiful and fascinating could be interested in me. The thoughts I kept from her eventually reared their ugly head and she felt confused. Our relationship dissolved. I do appreciate your insights. I always believed in Freud. There was also this book, The Apprehension of Beauty by Donald Meltzer, that supports you. Our mothers and fathers are important. Thank you Dillon for sharing.