This demonstrates a lack of personal control that you should deal with before you try to involve someone else in your life. Marriage is no cure for staring at women. You must do that yourself and realize they must be left alone. You seem infatuated with European or American women by a distanced medium. You objectify them. You must be fully recovered as an addict before considering marriage, but I wouldn't bother. I would learn to live by myself and focus on this I loved and had a passion for. I mean hobbies and work ambitions. That's what you should be doing as a person. Relationships with others are complicated. Focus on yourself.