Sometimes, things have no resolution, except complete dismantlement and if you can't understand that emotionally then consider homelessness. I remember having a horrible dream with a woman I was in a relationship. A homeless man was yelling at us, "Don't worry, one day she'll be mine."

That terrified me because, I felt he was stronger than I was. He could survive as a homeless man and in time amid my financial undoing, I would be in his position, and it simply meant that the only difference between he and I was that I had to job, at the moment, and he didn't.

Plus, he was taller, stronger, probably better looking. What did I have to give? I was a server in a restaurant. I think the bigger picture here is that we live in a capitalist economy. We use our bodies to survive. Existence is like a crap shoot. You never know if you are going to survive and what it will look like in the end. Every day is uncertain, especially now.