Ms. Ivan, this is lovely. I had no idea. If you simply told me this, I would never allow myself to become lost. Why would anyone want you to feel unsafe? In fact, I can tell you that men are terrified of being in a position where a gang of men wants to rape you and this person knows he has to protect you, but he also knows that he probably won't last long.

Men run this scenario through their heads over and over their entire lives. Plus, they have this fear that should a man or men do this, that is, be able to dominate them, they then assume that you will loose interest in them, that the aggessor appears more attractive.

So, it feels like a loose-loose situation.

Generally, men aren't interested in sharing their girlfriends, especially in instances like these, where they have no idea if they should just step aside or fight to the death. They know there are men out there, who are, as you say, willing to hurt, or even kill someone, but maybe they are never sure, where you stand.

I think couples need to talk about this. I once told someone I really cared about that I would run to get help. But, of course, I would fight them off as much as I could and first send her out of the situation to seek help/safety.

Maybe safety words, like: "Bingo, parla Italiano!" And she would know to run because I am about to fight to the death to protect her. Just so there is certainty and she takes my assessment seriously. I don't want to be having a conversation with her where I say, "So, these guys look like they are going to rape you and kill me. Are you attracted to them/one of them; what do you want (me and you) to do?"