Looking back, I have always fallen in love with beautiful Republican women and I know why. They understand and subscribe to the rules present in our capitalistic society, which is that people need to work harder and faster in positions that I have no acumen in. So, I am jealous. I hated the idea of studying business or finance, or medicine, law (which I actually love), etc. they have nothing to do with what I do when I get up in the morning and have a passion for. What successful person wants to get up in the morning and critique poetry? What successful person wants to write lyrics for instrumentals? All my exes wanted to lie around and make babies, which was a mirror that showed me what kind of a man I was. Babies? I thought. Were they crazy? I can barely take care of myself. I wish I had the acumen or mental discipline to ignore my heart and soul, but I can't and so I live like a slave in a coal mine.