Just for the record, and I cannot speak for men, but in opposition to fetichism, healthy attraction prefers the female body over “flattering nighties,” sexy music, a lit candle, whatever distraction women seem to think makes having sex more palatable. I think, and I am sure men would agree, that they would rather be able to look at you without any intermediary step. We are shy, but we really just want to stare at you naked, in your great beauty, because you never let us look at you enough. You own our fantasies. Because you are with us, you validate us, give us this incredible pride that someone so much more physically and intellectually appealing could actually find us worthy of your intimacy. You don’t need to be “most revealing” in something, but out of everything. It means we are equals. We really don’t want porn or you to think you aren’t good enough in any way. I have loved three woman more than life itself, if this helps you understand what I am trying to say. Let us explore you completely naked, with nothing on. Stop wearing underwear to bed. If you are cold, cling to us. Be more open, less “sexily” clad. We want more than sex. We want a connection with us that doesn’t imply that we need to be dressed up too.