If the external causes are reasonable, then they should be considered.

I can remember an ex who remains friends, but who continues to bug me about my never being able to take major holidays off, especially Valentine's Day. I worked at a fine restaurant in a fine hotel that was run with a skeletal staff. If anyone had the day off to work, it meant that it was going to be nearly impossible to succeed. Service sucked.

I was screwed for years. I never spent Christmas or Thanksgiving with my family over the course of 27 years. It hurt. Every table I went to was having a good time and my mother and sister, for example, had to celebrate the holidays alone. That nearly breaks my heart because my mother died a few years ago and that fact stings in my heart.

Men feel everything, although I cannot speak for them. But, we also know how important money is to a relationship and to life. That's emotional bearing. A woman thinks about jewelry, having children, driving a fancy car, getting gifts for her family, being proud of her man, living in an expensive house. Imagine how much pressure that is? Its mindnumbing and sad.