He complained like a bully because he was jealous. Secretly, he wished he could be disciplined enough to succeed. He lives with regret and he knows in the end after he has pushed you away for the last time, that he will get his death wish. Something happened to him as a child, like you perhaps his father abandoned him. He’s never felt valued, worthy of any love, just knew he was alone in the world to battle authority and structure. I think we follow the roads that have been lain, our role models are sometimes sadness and regret. Negativity can sometimes be a comfort because it lets us off the hook. But, you and I both know that to save ourselves and everyone else around us, is that we love. We just love.

I miss my lonely mother, because I now understand that her father died when she was two, her mother when she was eighteen. She lived in foster homes in between. It was the thirties in America. My mother gave me everything, your father is giving you the back road with everything not to do. Follow his advice in the opposite. Go against what is easiest. You’ll be able to love yourself if you do. And I promise that love is it’s own reward and protection from regret. Regret is what gets you in the end. It breaks you and makes you unfit. It takes your soul and smothers you. Then the cold outside will fill you and kill you.