Having grown up in Honolulu, I came to think that the popularity of any ethnicity in terms of mating related to who, ethnically-speaking, represented the dominant ethnicity, such that in Honolulu, it was Asian females, for example, and generally, at least for me, I was not attracted to white females. Correspondingly, the whole idea of racism is explained by the major ethnicity in a particular place over the minor ethnicities. I laugh, for example, about Asian complaints about Asians being hated in some parts of the United States, when I was clearly a victim of them in Honolulu. In the book The Lover by Marguerite Duras, Duras brilliantly alludes to that hate of white men through the experience/perspective of the protagonist’s brother’s inability to protect her, a very young French girl, from the seduction of a rich older Asian man, which also alludes to the fact of economic prowess, which is perhaps more assured when you are a member of the dominant ethnic group. Also, there is a perceived pragmatism inherent in Asian cultures, where I have heard that Asian women tend to want to marry up. I married a unique Asian woman from Nicaragua. She reminded me of my mother, a former beauty queen and runway model, who was the most beautiful woman I could have ever imagined. I am sure if I wasn’t so unhappy with my work, it would have worked out with us. I would have been willing to have the child she sought, which broke us up as well. I never felt secure with her. She had multiple practical graduate degrees by the time she was 23 and she ran her father’s business. What’s not to like? I cannot tell her motivation for marrying me, except that it was electric between us. I was not rich. I was poor and also ran out of money. I am still unhappy in my work. I am an impractical dreamer, who works on projects that never turned lucrative when I am not working my “day job”. Through all of that, I have managed to pay off a condo that I remodeled myself, teach myself to sing, compose, and write lyrics. I have a “Master’s Equivalent” in photography, paint, draw, graphic designed for the second largest Opera House in the US…, paralegal certification, etc, and now with only one area of study and practice to explore, I am in the no man’s land of being too old to attract a mate.
