Completely agree with you. It is the decision maker. They can either fail or succeed in the choice they make. And why would anyone but a weak person want to spend their time with someone they didn’t love? I tend to wait for someone I love, but I also understand that you have to love, it is an action as Eric Fromm describes in The Art of Loving. I love whatever that person becomes unless they have decided not to also love me. Then I set them free.